Sorry Guys

People of the world, I’m sorry I’ve not posted anything in a while. I’ve just had so much going on. I promis I will write more often.

HERMIT CRAB WALKING

IS YOUR HERMIT CRAB COOPED UP ALL DAY?

DOES IT NEED TO GET OUT?

SEND YOUR GROSE LITTLE CREATURES TO ME

ONLY $10.00 AN HOUR

DON’T #READ THIS

• #stuffed animals
• #toy doctor
• #orange juice
• #Melvel Dewey
• #weird
• #oddball

What to do every day of the week

Ok, what  we are going to do is you can do these things to show how dedicated you are to my site.

Monday: Eat one meal of cow

Tuesday: wear a hot pink shirt

Wednesday: put a raw egg in  a bowl, shell and all

Thursday: pick a strand of hair off your head and burn it

Friday: scream t.g.i.f. on the top of your lungs to the world

Saturday: watch america’s funniest home videos

 

Some good advise from Melvel

1. bean bag chairs are better than couches
2. you can only be as crazy as me  if you read my how to be crazy manual. coming soon
3. pigs make good friends
4. cats like to cheat on you
5. lalalalalalalalalalalalala
6. eat fried eggs, they are brain food
7. don’t say awesomesause, it’s my thing, even before the ad
8. I LOVE SWINGSETS
9. don’t forget to skip school on tuesdays.
10. ALWAYS remember my advice

MY FRIENDS

this is Bob. He is my neighbor and also my cousin.

this is joe. my wife likes him better than me

 

MY WIFE

my wife is  a cat named sir Wiskers. We are in love. I get mad when she poops on the floor and I have to clean it up. We fight a lot. she always wants to spend all of my money I make on cat toys and kitty litter. I don’t see why she can’t use the toilet like a civilized human being.

10 THINGS NOT TO DO IN LIFE THREATENING SITUATION

1. howl like a caveman
2. scream like a banshee
3. poke a thug in the nose
4. eat your own eyeball
5. bake a cake
6. read my blog
7. play ball
8. rob a bank
9. hit a wolf with a stick
10. make a silly face

 

 

STUFFED ANIMAL BABY SITTING

YOU KNOW HOW WILD STUFFED ANIMALS GET WHEN WE GO AWAY.

SOOOOOOOOO………

SEND ‘EM TO ME! 

I GUARANTEE YOUR ANIMALS WILL GET THREE MEALS A DAY PLUS SNACKS AND DESSERT 

FROM ARE FIVE STAR RESTAURANT. ALSO, A PRIVAT BEDROOM WITH A KING SIZED BED AND JACUSY IN THE BATHROOM

TOY DOCTOR

Is YOUR TOY BROKEN?

DOES IT NEED  A CHECKUP?

CALL, TEXT OR EMAIL ME, MELVEL DEWEY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!